each and every day for the rest of her life



Actually feel so so low. Christmas needs to just do one as quickly as possible. Maybe I could decorate my food bag and pretend it’s a roast…. Cuz that’s as close as I’m getting to actually eating one! 3 Christmases in a row that I’ll be cooking for everyone and then spending the rest of the day crying on the sofa taking medications and . Fun eh? I hate it now, absolutely despise it. Might just curl up and sleep through it… Oh wait, my Insomnia won’t let me do that. Please can someone just smash me over the head and wake me up when it’s over. Or maybe don’t even wake me up. I’m miserable. My life is dead. I don’t have a quality of life at all. I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life like this? So I will never again eat food, drink merrily, have energy or be out of pain for the rest of my life. I’m supposed to never again eat at Xmas, easter, pancake day etc. Urgh. Can’t even enjoy anything anymore cuz I know that I’ll regret it and end up in agony. What the fuck kind of life is this?! 😢. I wont be sharing the go fund me link again. You’ve all seen it enough times now, the shares aren’t happening and the donations have stopped completely. Think maybe its time to admit defeat and face the fact that this is me now 😔 I don’t know what else to do really. Sorry for moaning

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